15 March 09

"Something wasn't natural about them, in addition to the fact that they weren't natural." -Col. David LeCours, Vermont Department of Fish and Wildlife chief warden.  He was talking about the antlers bolted onto the skull of a deer by Vermont dumbass Marcel Fournier, who will spend 10 days in jail for his abject stupidity.

28February 09

Ladies and Gentlemens!  The undisputed champions of suckitude*:
The Cleveland Browns!

*According to Google

22 February 09

The number of AC/DC songs with "Rock n Roll" in the title.  It goes up to 18 if you include all forms of the word "Rock".  "Ball" or "Balls" appears 4 times.

11 December 08

This Week:  Robert Byrd Speech Concerning Iraq, 2003 and a shorter cut of Byrd in action

25 November 08

I don't know if I can go on...
Mr. Bob Seger,  In the song, 'Turn the Page', are you seriously suggesting that some dude calling you a girl ruins your whole day, considering that you're a major star that gets laid any time he wants?
Get over it, man.

01November 08

The Pope Says Wealth Is Bad

No hyperlink...just don't be stupid.
11 October 08


Cursive is the Shark
Who only swims crookedly
and bangs into things.


This link will take you to my ancient ass website that preceded this'un

Making the Iraqi Minister of Information Look Like Jesus

  On November 5th, one of two things will be true:  Either a black man will be the next President of the United States, or the lyingest bastards since the Iraqi Minister of Information will have suckered enough dumbass Americans to win, and the curtain will officially come down on America as a relevant power in world affairs.

  Remember Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahhaf, otherwise known as the Iraqi Minister of Information?  The guy who famously said, "There are no American tanks in Baghdad.  The Americans will be swept away in a sea of their own blood.  We are winning a great victory!"?  Well, I'm pretty sure McCain's campaign read his book.

McCain Palin- It's us or the Pinkos!

  Since I don't want to throw all conservatives or Republicans under the bus, I'm going to refer to a specific group I'll call Stupid Assholes for McCain-Palin, or STAMPs.  This about covers it for McPalin, because if you vote for them, you are either stupid, or an asshole.*

  McCain's official campaign, and his STAMP minions, have been busy putting the final touches on the slimiest, smearingest, God-damned lyingest campaign in American history.  A man who earned and deserved the nation's respect over decades of work threw it all away in six months in an effort to win the White House by dividing the country against itself.

  I know that we are all hypocrites, but this man's sheer hypocritical balls stymie any attempt at comparison.  But I'll try anyway:

Get it?  See how the two are different?  See?

  Remember when Sarah said, "  I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities."?

  I guess another difference would be, a community organizer knows how to get the community organized...to vote for him.  Zing!

  One of the most interesting things in this campaign is the way Sarah Palin has energized STAMPs.  Pundits laugh about how she 'wasn't vetted' properly.  I disagree.  If you notice how seamlessly she slipped into the role of 'The Girl Bush', I picture the interview going like this:

Rick Davis: "Say, 'Palling around with terrorists'."

Palin: "Palling around with terrorists!" Wink, wink.

Davis: "Here's a hundred and fifty grand for clothes...get on the plane."

  Seriously.  This is the woman who said she was happy to be cleared of any wrongdoing by an investigation that found her to have been doing wrongdoings.  She called this same investigation, led by 10 Republicans and 6 Democrats, "Politically motivated".

  Apparently, she went to the Ted Stevens School of Ridiculous Denial.  Ted Stevens, the other person I can name from Alaska, is a Senator who was recently convicted of being a bribe-taking asshole.  His brilliant defense was that these bribes, in the form of thousands of dollars worth of merchandise and the remodeling of his house, were unwanted and un-asked for.  He literally said that he was afraid of leaving his house, because everytime he did crazy people would come over and build him a balcony or something.  He would come home, and say, "Where did all this stuff come from?  I didn't ask for these luxurious and expensive items.  I had better just pretend like I don't see them."  Mind you, he never once tried to return any of the balconies or decks built by these renegade remodelers.  Nor did he ever have any of this mysterious booty removed from his property.  No calls made to the authorities of any kind.

Seriously, that was his defense.  The jury stepped out long enough to take a pee and get a sip of water, then went back in and CONVICTED his ass.  The next day, he went back to Alaska to continue his campaign for re-election (Whhhhhaaaa?) , saying, "I haven't been convicted of anything!"  Yes, really.  He really really said that.  Look it up.

Back to STAMPs.  These scumbags will say anything, ANYTHING, to get your vote.  If they can't get it, they'll work like hell to throw it out, while screaming 'voter fraud!".

At this very moment, they are stuffing their pockets full of your bailout money that GWB promised them.  A boldly Socialist move, 'spreading the wealth' of the middle class into the pockets of the ultra-rich.  Then they point at Obama and scream, "Socialist!"

See a pattern here?  That's right...Whatever McCain's campaign is screaming about the other guy likely applies more accurately to McCain hisself.

-MoMentAry SidEtRack-

In case you don't get it, the collapse of our economy was totally engineered to go this way.

  Bush and his Team of Evil got together earlier this year, and took a look at the upcoming election.  Now, they ain't stupid.  You don't get to be a high ranker in the Team of Evil by being stupid.  And they saw the writing on the wall.  It said, "No way McCain wins.  Our gushing flow of American tax money will be choked off by that damned (slur omitted)."

  So they did the only thing Evil Bastards could do: They drained the American economy into their pockets, then cried "Bailout!" so they could do it again.  Before reasonable men could stop them.

Right now, W is pushing through around 90 regulations (see this for clarification on 'regulations'), all of which make destruction of every natural resource we have much easier, enrich already obscenely rich scumbags, or undermine the American justice system to allow crooks and thieves to rob this country blind-er.


  You Heard It Here First-

  After McPalin gets waffle stomped by the guy campaigning for a united country, the GOP will face some serious inward looking.  If ever there was the opportunity for a multi-party system, this is it:  True Republicans, those that are secular, reasonable, moderate, and conservative, should break away from those who play to the racists and the religious extremists and the morality police and the unintelligent.  Dump Palin like a hot rock and break away from these dividers.  Because no one will ever take you seriously again until you do.

-BaCk to wHAt i wAs saYIng-  

You are not stupid, and you're not an asshole.

  So make Damned sure you don't vote for McCain. 

  Better not to vote at all.

  Now Go Vote.




*For The Record: I am not stumping for the other guy.  I don't care if you vote for Bob Barr, Ralph Nader, Darth Vader, Charlie Manson, or Charlie Sheen.  I don't care if you write in Hillary Clinton or George Clinton.  I only care that you DON'T vote for a man who sold his soul to the Devil and a woman who thinks the Vice-President is in charge of the Senate.  That's it.  Vote for your friggin refrigerator for all I care.