15 March 09

"Something wasn't natural about them, in addition to the fact that they weren't natural." -Col. David LeCours, Vermont Department of Fish and Wildlife chief warden.  He was talking about the antlers bolted onto the skull of a deer by Vermont dumbass Marcel Fournier, who will spend 10 days in jail for his abject stupidity.

28February 09

Ladies and Gentlemens!  The undisputed champions of suckitude*:
The Cleveland Browns!

*According to Google

22 February 09

The number of AC/DC songs with "Rock n Roll" in the title.  It goes up to 18 if you include all forms of the word "Rock".  "Ball" or "Balls" appears 4 times.

11 December 08

This Week:  Robert Byrd Speech Concerning Iraq, 2003 and a shorter cut of Byrd in action

25 November 08

I don't know if I can go on...
Mr. Bob Seger,  In the song, 'Turn the Page', are you seriously suggesting that some dude calling you a girl ruins your whole day, considering that you're a major star that gets laid any time he wants?
Get over it, man.

01November 08

The Pope Says Wealth Is Bad

No hyperlink...just don't be stupid.
11 October 08


Cursive is the Shark
Who only swims crookedly
and bangs into things.


This link will take you to my ancient ass website that preceded this'un


  Originally published on 08MAY08 

Fucking Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee is ruining my concentration by whipping many asses in the sweet-ass movie,

-Enter The Dragon-

on the T.V. ten feet away. Makes it damned hard to concentrate on how unbelievably stupid everyone on this fucking continent besides me is.

If Bruce Lee was still alive, he would be the"I do not hit, it hits all by itself." other guy on this continent (assuming he got the righteous love and adoration that this stinking landmass duly owes him and he stayed here making bad ass movies and being a legend instead of going back to Asia where he's a motherfucking God) who is not a complete retard.

This most assuredly includes you, gentle reader.

You could have single handedly stopped some moronic shit from happening, could've voted for, oh I don't know, not George Bush?  Hmmm?  But no, you had to make sure you got home in time to see the latest gaggle of embarrassing twits and princess bitches singing their pathetic guts out to a rude asshole from some other fucking country, a black guy I don’t know, and a totally batshit crazy ex-Laker Girl.  All that so we can all get another talentless hack who is not Bob Dylan, Billy Corgan, Jimi Hendrix, Madonna, Run or D.M.C., Janice Joplin, Dave Matthews, Jim Morrison, Miles Davis, Thom Yorke, Beck, or any other of the countless badass musicians who would not make the second cut of this worthless show.  You are not a thirteen-year-old girl living in the suburbs, so throw away the 23 stuffed animals arrayed across your bedroom, put on a shirt that covers that ridiculous tattoo just above your asscrack, and stop watching shows like American Idol.  Haven't you seen the many medical studies available all over the internet that prove that watching American Idol will alter your DNA, so that you'll be even more shallow and unable to function in the world than you are now?

So now we got red-light cameras, bombs, boys, and girls in the Middle East, and a douchebag big enough to cleanse the dirty bits of the entire female population of Vermont running the country.  For the SECOND term of his presidency.  Because a guy who couldn't bother to show up to his National Guard assignment to play cards and drink beer all weekend convinced everyone that the guy who served multiple tours in Vietnam was the pussy.

Fucking beautiful.  Good looking out.

Why did you do this to us?  You are fucking killing me with your brilliant barroom solutions to the world’s problems, but then you slog to work the next day and spit in my nachos lardgrande. You empty your car’s ashtray in the parking lot of your place of employment, stop traffic in all directions for 5 minutes and thirty-seven seconds with your clearly illegal and ill advised (due to it’s assholeishness) left turn on the way home, and kick the dog when you walk in the door because no one at work sucked your dick today.

Or any other day.

Well, dumbass, I got something you can do. You can get off your stench ridden couch in November and go out on election day and not vote for John McCain.  Do it, or recognize that you and I my friend are mortal fucking enemies. The only thing to do if we meet on the street is to have it out, Enter The Dragon style.

And I am Bruce Lee. Except for being white, sorely in need of some physical fitness, shitty at martial arts, and alive.

Other than that, Bruce Fucking Lee.

See, I don’t care who you vote for, as long as it’s not a 70+ white guy who sold his soul to the friggin devil and gave his balls to G. Bush.  A guy who will not do one single damn thing to improve your miserable state and will only tweak the national embarrassment of the last 7+ years into a different tasting bowl of shit. The Century of the Asshole will roll merrily on, and it will be your fucking fault if you vote for McCain.   Read the letter that he used for toilet paper here.

  Now I see in the news that Hillary supporters are saying they'll vote McCain if Obama's the candidate.

If you are one of those supporters, you are a dumbass commie bastard-child of the commies that Joe McCarthy was trying to root out.  Where are you when we need you, Joe?

  But back to what a complete dumbass you are, the Hillary-or-McCainians. 

  Aside from the fact that a teddy bear stuffed with lead and syringes would be a better Presidential candidate than Hillary, you WILL go out in November and you WILL vote for someone who is not John McCain, or you can take your stupid self-righteous attitude and shove it far into your bitter clenched-up ass, which you will have plenty of time to do while you're evading the draft in Canada, you damned dirty commie!  I cannot bring to mind any words to describe how stupid you are, in spite of my Brobdingnagian vocabulary and my manifest super-genius.  It doesn't matter, for you are doubtless illiterate and mate with close relatives.  When you aren't picking fleas from your body, I don't know what you are doing, but what you're not doing is reading, certainly not on the internets.  You could not possibly be reading this unless a three-year-old was explaining it to you.  So I hope one does.

  Not to mention that even a half-wit like myself can see that you're only saying you'd vote for McCain to scare Obama supporters and super delegates to Hill's side in a desperate attempt to wrest the nomination from the Barack.  Which is of course why not one of the four or five 'news' jerks I saw yapping about it mentioned the possibility.  Too busy being less than half-witted.

The time for your pathetic crying over the exclusion of Michigan and America's Wang(Florida) from the primaries is over.  Also over is the remotest possibility that Hill will win the Nomination. O-fucking-ver.

Here's your hat, what's your hurry?

So, Hillary supporters, and also everyone else who is not a defense contractor or a head in a jar being kept alive strictly to vote for McCain, lick your bitter tears dry with your dry, dry tongue and vote for Someone-Other-Than-McCain come November.  Years from now, when you aren't being dragged from your home, beaten senseless, and thrown into a foreign prison where your nipples are triple-electrocuted every night, you'll be glad you did.



What's All This Then?

There is a lighthouse for sale in Wales somewhere. That's in the United Kingdom, which you would know if you fucking read things once in a while. Whitford Lighthouse. You can buy it for £1. That's one pound sterling, dumbass, or about two American Greenbacks.So if you live in Wales, take your lame ass to Whitford and buy that damn lighthouse. Are you crackers, Crackers? A lighthouse?!? How sweet is that ?

Whitford Fucking Lighthouse, Wales, UK

Yet another reason living in Ohio sucks.    Check it, wankers: http://www.unc.edu/~rowlett/lighthouse/cym.htm

The lighthouse photo is probably copyright by some gormless sod named Angus MacDonald