POSSIBLIZING THE UNPOSSIBLE
15 March 09
"
Something wasn't natural about them, in addition
to the fact that they weren't natural." -Col. David LeCours,
Vermont Department of Fish and Wildlife chief warden. He was
talking about the antlers bolted onto the skull of a deer by Vermont
dumbass Marcel Fournier, who will spend 10 days in jail for his abject
stupidity.
28February 09
HOW MUCH DOES YOUR
NFL TEAM SUCK?
Ladies and Gentlemens! The undisputed champions of suckitude*:
The Cleveland Browns!
*According to Google
22
February 09
9
The number of AC/DC songs with "Rock n Roll" in the title. It goes
up to
18 if you include all forms of the
word "Rock". "Ball" or "Balls" appears
4
times.
11 December 08
This Week:
Robert Byrd Speech Concerning Iraq, 2003 and a shorter cut of
Byrd in action
25 November 08
Mr. Bob Seger, In the song, 'Turn the Page', are you seriously
suggesting that some dude calling you a girl ruins your whole day,
considering that you're a major star that gets laid any time he wants?
Get over it, man.
01November 08
The Pope Says Wealth Is Bad
11 October 08
Whaiku:
Cursive is the Shark
Who only swims crookedly
and bangs into things.
OCT 08, BBC
This link will take you to my ancient ass
website that preceded this'un
The Case for the No Bullshit Patriot
As I write this, Congress is trying to figure out exactly which way they
intend to hammer you, the American Citizen. The choices currently before
them range from exceptionally hard to extremely hard. It may be the most
brilliant play yet by George W. Bush in his "Plan To Destroy the Country I Hate,
America" plan.
For eight years, America's greatest enemy has been it's President.
The problems we didn't have a decade ago that now threaten our very existence as
a world power are so many, to list them here would probably create a wave of
mass suicides across the nation. And you'd be right, suicidal bastards,
because this country is seriously fucked for awhile, no matter who gets elected
in November.
The culmination of years of setting us up for the fall will come Monday
morning, September 22nd, 2008. That is when the ball will drop on the most
ingenious plan to swindle the American People ever devised. It will
cripple your income and decimate your 401k, Citizen, and it will make millions
of dollars for the assholes who's plan it was, and is.
After extensive research which any one can do, even you you lazy slug, I have
come to understand what it is that's happening, and I'm going to do my damnedest
to explain it to you.
Try not to go out and burn City Hall to the ground after you read it, because if
you're not pissed off enough to consider it, you should just go back to watching
American Gladiator and waiting for a tornado to destroy your trailer park.
-The Beginning-
It started way before 2002, but in order to keep this under a million words,
we'll start there.
In this year some bad mojo was set in motion: UBS hires Phil Gramm,
a total asshole who has dedicated his evil life to making rich people obscenely
rich, to lobby Congress on behalf of rich bastards. He has already been
doing his evil business as a Senator for years by this point. For the next
few years, he systematically helps gut every regulation and protection in United
States Law designed to protect your money from greedy fucks. Payday
lenders, Rent-to-Own shops, Insurance companies, lawyers, real estate agents,
government bureaucrats, Wall Street big boys, and particularly anyone who makes
money by moving pieces of paper around, all start raking in larger and larger
amounts of your money. The Poor and Middle Class pay the tab here, but are
faked out into thinking things are going well. This is because as they are
being slowly bled dry, they are offered cheaper and cheaper commodities.
That is, even a family that only makes $30,000 can still afford cable, a DVD
player, a T.V., and a bus pass. Cheap foreign crap floods the American
retail market, so Johnny Sixpack can feel like a bigshot with his $15 wheel
covers and his $250 'HD' T.V.
Meanwhile, evil fucks are slowly reaching into your pocket and slipping
out your billfold. Many of them are what's called Subprime Lenders.
This is code for, "Pricks who take bad risks with other people's money".
These lenders do business like this: They create, thanks to Gramm's slashing and
burning of laws against it, a set of lending criteria that promises bad credit
risk borrowers a loan where they otherwise couldn't get one. They do not
do this out of the kindness of their black, black hearts. They do it
because they set up these borrowers to fail. Failure means more money for
them. It works like this: Find a Sucker who can't afford a lawyer, doesn't
understand the 47 pages of contract they're being pressured to sign, and is
being told that they can buy that house they've been dreaming about. It turns
out there are millions of them. Sell them a loan loaded with backdoor
clauses and asterisks. Turn around and bundle hundreds of these bad risk
loans together and sell them to investors (foreign and domestic) who are betting
on getting their money. Meanwhile, the borrower encounters backdoor
clauses and asterisks, and defaults immediately or goes broke trying to fulfill
their now ridiculous financial obligation, and then defaults.
Presto, they just got some of your money and all of your house. You
just got fucked, but not for the last time.
Now all these houses glut the market, being sold, foreclosed, and resold
again to a new sucker. Money is flying all over the place. But
eventually, the market is overloaded with houses, and the 'Housing Crisis' phase
goes into effect.
Remember back in 2002, when every other person you knew was buying or
selling real estate? I knew people who were Home Depot cashiers who
moonlighted flipping houses. Flipping houses used to be illegal, for good
reason, but we're not getting into that.
Point is, there were a lot of common Joes getting a piece of the action.
This always pisses off the Big Money. They don't want your grubby hands
into their pot. So, 'Housing Crisis'!
A jihad on the Middle Class. All those people you knew flipping houses?
Back to flipping burgers for them. They just got fucked, but not for the
last time.
And all those houses started reverting to the Big Money, who will sell
them back to us when it'll make them a dime.
-The Middle-
But hey, it's 2006, don't forget about all that high risk debt the Big
Money sold to other Big Money. Oh no, this is the genius part, the part
the airlines, Big Oil, and S & L's (the last of which was bailed out by Bush the
First...D'Oh!) have learned all too well: Tie your existence into the
American Economy, and you're home free.
The First Rule of Big Money: Big Money Never Loses.
So, in 2006, Henry Paulson, Jr., a Big Money bastard who was the CEO of
Goldman-Sachs, is appointed Secretary of the Treasury by Guess Who Yes Bush and
his then Republican majority Congress.
Those guys who bought all that bad risk debt? Did I forget to mention that
they are Big Money?
Big Money Never Loses.
-Right Now-
So now it's right now, and
Big Money simply turns to Washington and says, "Oh, Hi. If you don't
arrange for our bad debt risks to turn a profit, we're going to crash your stock
market, and hence your economy."
Now, if you thought the American Government would rise up in mass indignation at
this threat and swear relentless revenge on the perpetrators, well, you'd be way
off.
What Washington in fact is saying this weekend is, "Hey, no problem."
Henry Paulson rides up to Congress on his White Steed of Salvation.
The name of his mount is American Taxpayers Now and in the Far-Reaching Future.
He goes to Congress, he goes, "Hey, let's gut this horse to appease Big
Money, and we'll all be stinking rich!" Hazzah!
Here is what will come out of Congress this weekend:
1. The American Taxpayer will be on the hook for $700 Billion dollars that he
wasn't previously on the hook for. And it WILL be more.
2. Big Money gets it's profit on bad risk debt. Bam you just got
fucked again. For at least the second time.
3. A whole new bastard bureaucracy is born out of wedlock: The people
hired to orchestrate this passing of money from You to Big Money. 700
billion is a lot to dole out. This bureaucracy will not be under any
oversight whatsoever, and essentially answerable to no one. This is where
that 'More' cost thing from 1 starts to come into play. The government that politicians promise to
shrink will grow ever larger and cost more money to run. You are starting
to get numb to the repeated fucking you're getting.
4. The way the rules will be set up, banks will be able to not only sell
their bad debt mortgages to you, they will be legally able to sell any
mortgage debt they have, no matter the risk. More of that 'More' cost I
was talking about. You are getting tag-teamed at this point.
5. Since your tax money will be totally at work paying off Big Money and
keeping the bloated government fat and happy, there won't be any choice for
whoever the next president is if he wants to buy a peanut, or say, invest in
alternative energy or education: He'll have to raise your taxes.
Ouch, you just got fucked again.
6. Meanwhile, your kids will be paying for Big Money's Big Payday, September 22,
2008. And so, probably, will their kids.
7. You will by now have become one of two people: A Numb(er), or No Bullshit
Patriot.
A Numb(er), is just that, numb. Resigned to getting screwed, and
content to be Not As Screwed As That Guy Over There. Living in ever
present fear of terrorist attack or gays getting married or losing your
thankless job. Dedicated to keeping things just like they are, because
change could ruin your fragile hold on things. The thought that insanity
lies in repeating the same mistakes in hopes of a different outcome is
meaningless to a Numb(er).
A No Bullshit Patriot, on the other hand, has decided to be tired of the
fucking. A NBP has decided that, even though it's gonna hurt a bit for
awhile, changing the way things are done in Washington has got to get done.
No matter what it is, it's got to be different, because it can hardly get worse.
A NBP puts the fate of the country above their prejudices and their need for
sameness. They look beyond party to find a real way to stop the fucking of
this great Nation. No matter what their stance on any one issue. A
NBP puts aside their view on religion, economics, the war, or breastfeeding in
public and focuses on what can be done to save this nation from collapse.
NBP's work hard, earn as honest a living as they can in a thoroughly corrupt
system, and look out for their neighbors.
Well NBPs, your neighbors are mighty pissed off right now, and you have a hell
of a job ahead of you in straightening out this mess. And Numb(ers) far
outnumb(er) you. But you are not alone, and if you look hard enough, you
will find others. The fate of this country, and indeed the world, rests on
your shoulders.
So take off that stupid lapel pin and let's get this DamnNation back.
Where is City Hall again?
P.S. Don't burn down City Hall.