15 March 09

"Something wasn't natural about them, in addition to the fact that they weren't natural." -Col. David LeCours, Vermont Department of Fish and Wildlife chief warden.  He was talking about the antlers bolted onto the skull of a deer by Vermont dumbass Marcel Fournier, who will spend 10 days in jail for his abject stupidity.

28February 09

Ladies and Gentlemens!  The undisputed champions of suckitude*:
The Cleveland Browns!

*According to Google

22 February 09

The number of AC/DC songs with "Rock n Roll" in the title.  It goes up to 18 if you include all forms of the word "Rock".  "Ball" or "Balls" appears 4 times.

11 December 08

This Week:  Robert Byrd Speech Concerning Iraq, 2003 and a shorter cut of Byrd in action

25 November 08

I don't know if I can go on...
Mr. Bob Seger,  In the song, 'Turn the Page', are you seriously suggesting that some dude calling you a girl ruins your whole day, considering that you're a major star that gets laid any time he wants?
Get over it, man.

01November 08

The Pope Says Wealth Is Bad

No hyperlink...just don't be stupid.
11 October 08


Cursive is the Shark
Who only swims crookedly
and bangs into things.


This link will take you to my ancient ass website that preceded this'un
Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
Hardline Conservatives...the Winger of the 21st Century

  "It's never as good as I'd hoped, or as bad as I feared."  -The Church, Into My Hands

 Well, America went on and elected an intelligent and thoughtful guy to be the next PotUS.  All kinds of sonsa bitches are rolling over in their graves.  Love it or hate it, you gotta admit...it will be different.  So let's get all the analysis out of the way and move on with our makin' it to next week's paycheck.

  -The next person who calls Obama my 'messiah' is gonna get five across the face.  Just because I didn't vote for the old white guy doesn't mean I think anybody else is Jesus Kiteflying Christ, get me?  That's just the frustrated asshole in you, and it just annoys everyone.  Get over it.

  -The Spirit Award for Missing the Point goes to:  Sarah Palin's Ardent Supporters (SPAS).  While the rest of the GOP was busy getting their asses royally kicked and picking their teeth up off the floor, the Divine Miss P (I call her that cause she's your messiah.  Burn!) was hiring some Bravo channel reality jerks to throw a coming out bash.  Teen pregnancy advocates and people who reference a Bible they've never read to justify ridiculous prejudices rejoiced and sang hallelujah (to their messiah).  A week later a bunch of Republican Governors crammed down triple helpings of Humble Pie and stood behind Palin while she held a press conference because she could (and to confirm her messiahness).  Seldom have I seen more pathetic looking men in suits who were not taking an actual perp walk.  Weak.

  -Poor bastards like Rush Limbaugh, already a living parody of himself and a joke to all but the most self-delusional, are in real trouble.  The Democrats sure as hell are gonna try to shut him up, but we'll get to that some other time.  The trouble I mean is because it's no longer cool to be a whiny assed hate fiend.  Move over Winger, the new wave of Instantly Irrelevant is comin' to take your spot... 

You remember that day, back in the fall of 1991, when you heard 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' for the first time?  Do you remember how you went home and burned all your Hair Band Albums?  Winger, Ratt, Bon Jovi, and especially Poison...they all went from headliner to irrelevant in less time than it takes a yeast infection to run it's course.  And no matter what you might say, that is where they belong still.  You grew up a little that day.  We all did.

  Well, there is a certain faction of the G Old P that believes they failed because they weren't right Winger enough.  That they should have beat that dead-ass horse Abortion a little harder or Photoshopped Obama riding a camel and wielding a machete for an ad.  These stupid-as-fuck idiots are lining up behind Palin and they are gonna cover their eyes and ears and hum loudly for the next four years, screaming about birth certificates and undercover Muslims.  They will abide.  They will be back.  And like Poison, they may still go on tour, but they'll never go platinum again.  Note to SPASes:  There are a shit-load of cities in America, and people in them.  Try not to tell them they're un-American.  Dumbasses...

The Hardcore Conservative is a breed that will never die, but there will be fewer and fewer of them, and they'll keep their backward-ass opinions to themselves in public.  Which is why we'll need to keep tabs on their asses.  Because if you think Islam has extremists...Hell, America invented Extreme.  Both the tragically terrible band and the level to which we take everything.  And the Hardcore Conservative is nothing if not a Drama Queen, so just be prepared for some very stupid people to make their presence known.  

Fuck You, New York

If you are not from New York, enjoy...

  Dear New York, the City not the State,

  As a sports fan, and a living in a world where New York is not a topic of conversation fan, I send you salutations and a hearty Fuck You.

  The seed of it is the incessant blathering by jackass sports pukes about how LeBron James is getting fitted for a Kuh-nicks jersey in his spare time, due to his inevitable free-agency.

  Spare me, you pathetic assholes.

  Just because you were one of the thirteen colonies, and boast a fantastic American city, does not entitle you to every athelete and great leader available.  Yes, I am aware of my misspelling of athlete, I fucking have spellcheck, you know.

  If I have to hear about Brett Favre and the Jets, Eli Manning and the Giants, Fill in the Yankee of the moment and the Yankees, some dude and the Mets, and the Motherfucking Knicks, Jesus Kiteflying Christ, the Knicks! 

  Not to mention what Martha Sherrill said more better than anyone done ever, "Rudy Giuliani Is a Colossal Asshole."

  You may be big stuff in New York City, Rudy, but you will never be an American Icon.  Mostly because you are a fucking colossal asshole.

  So can we please stop talking about him, as well...

But we were talking about one of the baddest ass ball players ever.

  Let's be clear:  I am not an NBA fan, and I'm not from Ohio.

  Having said that, I have heard sports TV propagated rumors that LeBron James was about to be a Knick since I was 17, which was in the 80's.  Give it a rest, already.

  The kid is phenomenal, the only possible threat to Jordan playing today.  But suck a fat one, New York, because he doesn't go to bed dreaming of reviving your shitty team.  Nobody gives a shit about you, the Knicks.  Get used to it.

  New York is like the beneficiaries of the Baio-lout:  Save the rich from becoming the middle class. I'm the home of Woody Allen...uh, I mean some other Allen.

Dear Jesus,

 Save us!

- The Rich

I can't believe the scumbags that get a pass in this country.  For instance, Leslie O. Collier, a total prick who was trying to annihilate wolves, but ended up killing bald eagles instead.  Where's your Patriot Act and your protect-the-flag amendment now, Jerks?  Or Congressmen who somehow thought Terry Schiavo was their fucking business.  Or the party responsible for 'No Child Left Behind' calling some other dude a socialist.  Un fucking believable.

  In the meantime, fuck you, Pittsburgh, home of the worst sports fans in the solar system, but especially fuck you New York.


Everyone Who is Not From New York