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POSSIBLIZING THE UNPOSSIBLE

15 March 09

"Something wasn't natural about them, in addition to the fact that they weren't natural." -Col. David LeCours, Vermont Department of Fish and Wildlife chief warden.  He was talking about the antlers bolted onto the skull of a deer by Vermont dumbass Marcel Fournier, who will spend 10 days in jail for his abject stupidity.



28February 09

HOW MUCH DOES YOUR NFL TEAM SUCK?
Ladies and Gentlemens!  The undisputed champions of suckitude*:
The Cleveland Browns!

*According to Google

22 February 09


9
The number of AC/DC songs with "Rock n Roll" in the title.  It goes up to 18 if you include all forms of the word "Rock".  "Ball" or "Balls" appears 4 times.


11 December 08


This Week:  Robert Byrd Speech Concerning Iraq, 2003 and a shorter cut of Byrd in action

25 November 08



I don't know if I can go on...
Mr. Bob Seger,  In the song, 'Turn the Page', are you seriously suggesting that some dude calling you a girl ruins your whole day, considering that you're a major star that gets laid any time he wants?
Get over it, man.


01November 08


The Pope Says Wealth Is Bad

No hyperlink...just don't be stupid.
11 October 08

Whaiku:

Cursive is the Shark
Who only swims crookedly
and bangs into things.





OCT 08, BBC





 
This link will take you to my ancient ass website that preceded this'un
22 February 2009
  On The Origin of Specious

  Did you know Darwin started out as a Creationist?  No, you didn't, because you're a lazy bastard.  Point is, those hilarious Creationists, they never give up.  It's what makes them so cute, like a little kid asking to do something forty-seven times, because obviously the forty-six "NO"s didn't get the message across.  And even if you spank him, he'll just ask again tomorrow, or do it behind your back.

We would also accept 'Creative Evolvist' and 'Crevolver'

As yet more evidence that Irony never gets old, the new Creation-in-the-classroom plan is to use 'academic freedom' as a reason to force academics to give up their freedom and teach 'Creationism', or 'Intelligent Design' or 'Jesus's Old House' whatever they're calling it these days.  As in, 'We've passed a law to stop you fascist teachers from holding back religion's freedom to ram itself down our children's throat'.

  This constant assault on learning and knowledge just cracks me up.  Mainly because I don't get it.  OK, I get it, if the answer is, 'we want our kids to grow up stupid so that the Mexican Army will be able to easily invade and take over the U. S. of America'.  Then I get it.  Otherwise, no.

  On that note, this weeks' Way to Save Money During This Stupid Economic Crisis will save millions of dollars in taxpayer money, only hurts truly evil bastards (arms dealers), and will also ensure that, along with not filling our kids' minds with hearsay and mythology instead of science, we will whip the Mexican Army's ass when they come arriba-ing over the border.  So...

Way to Save Money During This Stupid Economic Crisis:

 the V-22 Abortion can destroy a whole village of taxpayer money in a jiffy.

That inglorious monstrosity there is the V-22 Osprey, and it's been costing you, my fellow taxpayer, since 1985.  Yes, '85 . It is just barely in service in 2009 and it has killed plenty of people, just never in combat and never, ever the enemy.  It was supposedly needed in order to fly troops and equipment not only vertically, but also horizontally, into combat.

  But wait...oh, that's right, we already have a vehicle like that.  It's called a helicopter...

Goes not only up and down, but FORWARD, too!

  This particular helicopter is the UH-60 Blackhawk, a pretty kick ass flying machine that I have personally used for transport more than once.  As evidenced by my currently writing this, I was not killed.  Were I to have had the same flying hours on board an Osprey I would surely be dead, and my dead body would've been killed many more times.

  If there is one tiny sliver of military expertise I can claim, it is air assault operations.  From my point of view, it should be called the V-22 Abortion, because that's what it is.  I would rather go into a hot landing zone riding a hang glider made of asbestos and matches that's on fire than the V-22.  

  Now, a Blackhawk is much cheaper, has greater maneuverability, reliability, and range, and can carry and utilize a vast array of destructive weaponry that Osprey pilots can only dream about.  But perhaps some brilliant strategist, certainly brillianter than myself, said to himself, "Man, if we send in this clownish catastrophe of an Osprey into battle, our enemy will be lulled into complacency by how easy these flying cows are to shoot down".

  I assume this strategist has some real weapon he would send in after the V-22, but if it was the cast of 'High School Musical 4: The Spitball Assault', it would seem to the enemy like the Hounds of Hell had been loosed in comparison.

  I don't care how much money was spent developing it or what valuable assets we'd be pissing away.  What's important is that not one more American dollar be spent on this joke.  it's like those stupid 'Dippin' Dots...When will you be the past, the future?   

This stupid treat has been the 'Ice Cream of the Future' since I was 10 years old, and I thought it was stupid then.  The Osprey is just like the Dots, albeit 3 years OLDER.  It has gone from cutting edge junk to obsolete junk without ever really making it off the drawing board.  This abomination of flight exists only to empooriate American taxpayers and enrichify arms dealers and crooked generals.  Cutting it off completely and giving the embarrassing evidence away (possibly to some form of comedy troupe) will literally put millions of dollars back in America's Pocket.  And that pocket could sure use a win right about now.

Is it March Madness yet?