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POSSIBLIZING THE UNPOSSIBLE


15 March 09

"Something wasn't natural about them, in addition to the fact that they weren't natural." -Col. David LeCours, Vermont Department of Fish and Wildlife chief warden.  He was talking about the antlers bolted onto the skull of a deer by Vermont dumbass Marcel Fournier, who will spend 10 days in jail for his abject stupidity.



28February 09

HOW MUCH DOES YOUR NFL TEAM SUCK?
Ladies and Gentlemens!  The undisputed champions of suckitude*:
The Cleveland Browns!

*According to Google

22 February 09


9
The number of AC/DC songs with "Rock n Roll" in the title.  It goes up to 18 if you include all forms of the word "Rock".  "Ball" or "Balls" appears 4 times.


11 December 08


This Week:  Robert Byrd Speech Concerning Iraq, 2003 and a shorter cut of Byrd in action

25 November 08



I don't know if I can go on...
Mr. Bob Seger,  In the song, 'Turn the Page', are you seriously suggesting that some dude calling you a girl ruins your whole day, considering that you're a major star that gets laid any time he wants?
Get over it, man.


01November 08


The Pope Says Wealth Is Bad

No hyperlink...just don't be stupid.
11 October 08

Whaiku:

Cursive is the Shark
Who only swims crookedly
and bangs into things.





OCT 08, BBC





 
This link will take you to my ancient ass website that preceded this'un





-21SEPTEMBER08-
The important thing is this: No matter what your opinions are, no matter what you say to your friends or co-workers or girlfriends, the time will eventually come when you will step into that voting booth (unless you are a heroin addict, a complete asshole, or in this country on an extended expired visa that never existed).  When that time comes, take a moment after you walk into the booth and just clear your mind, be relaxed and at ease, and gently push all the bullshit, the media assault, the unrelenting wave of catchphrases and assholes like me telling you how retarded you are if you don't see things my way (very) over a mental cliff. 
And then do me and you and every other American and every other person on this planet a favor:  Think of them all in turn, then think of me again.  And then vote your conscience.
It doesn't matter what the hell you say back outside.  Your vote is the business of which is none of mine.  Just don't be afraid of real change, don't be afraid to vote for the guy (and since you are hopefully voting for the
President, not the Vice-President, it will be a guy) who you think most wants to see you
do better, and don't be afraid to be surprised when you finally pull that lever, push that button, or punch out that pesky chad.  It's not often that you see the moment when history took a sharp turn for the better, even less likely you'll be a direct part of it.  Don't waste this chance to put your hand into the Pool of History and make a ripple, however small.  Do the right thing, vote with your soul, and when that historic turning point comes, bask in the knowledge that you were there.  The day when nothing would ever be the same again. 
In case you don't recognize that feeling you get the next morning, it's your life opening up a million possibilities that you never noticed before.  And for the first time in a long time, you will know they are all within your reach. 




-08JULY08-


3 OTHER MAVERICKS WHO ARE NOW A JOKE

-METALLICA-
THEN: When they were kicking everyone else's asses in rock before Guns 'n' Roses, they told The Man to suck it while they smoked a joint and drank a pint, then pleasured The Man's women.
NOW: Lars Ulrich sleeps on a giant pile of money, upon which he nightly dreams of smashing down the door of a 12-Year-Old skate punk and tasing him before he can hide the copy of Kill 'Em All he burned last week.  He occasionally makes public appearances to shit on his fanbase and see to it that no other musician on Earth will ever sell a record without monstrous commercial approval, then sells out in four different ways walking across his floor carpeted with baby panda bears towards his bathroom made entirely of gold.

-JESSE JACKSON- 
"Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change."
THEN-  The guy who held a dying MLK in his arms and beat Al Gore in the 1988 Democratic Primaries stood as the 'number one darkie' that white supremacists wanted to get for many years, mainly because he was badass. 

"The president explained.  You just didn't understand.  Sovereignty is sovereignty.  It's like in sovereignty.  If you're on a reservation, you've been soverized, you're Ph. D. is in Soverbication.  You understand?  I don't think you understand."
-NOW-
He never met a black person he couldn't turn into a victim, including Carolina hookers who didn't get raped, and every black American for slavery, which has not occurred in this country* for nigh on 150 years.

*We're talking about 'Pick that cotton, boy' slavery, not 'Get your ass back to work welcoming jerks to Wal-Mart, old man' slavery.

-MADONNA-
-THEN-
Like a dirty, dirty, very experienced and sexually professorial virgin
The Material Girl who started with little talent, no voice, hairy armpits and a freaky silver lamé jumpsuit became the hottest non-preaching papa's daughter on Earth by willpower alone.  Interestingly, she founded Maverick Records.
-NOW-
I like A-rod, but I don't LIKE like him. He popped me good right here the other night, ha ha cough wink wink ha
Her last album sounded like the lyrics were written by a 12-year-old girl who is immature for a 12-year-old, she's hooking up with a stinking New York Yankee, and she sold Maverick Records to Time Warner, a clearly evil entity.